


He's Getting There

by Jamaican Princess (Rocquellan)



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: M/M, POV Outsider, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 01:06:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rocquellan/pseuds/Jamaican%20Princess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takato realizes that Akihito has changed after those three days he went missing. He’s determined to help his friend through his problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's Getting There

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place immediately after the very first chapter in the first volume and before Fixer. I just wanted to try my hand at the topic of PTSD, comments/thoughts/concrit would be appreciated.
> 
> Yamane Ayano owns recognizable VF characters.

Takato, along with Kou, knocked on Akihito’s door insistently. They heard he was back after disappearing for three days and wanted to be sure.

Akihito barely opened the door, peaked out and looked around suspiciously before hazel eyes settled on them. “Guys?”

“Yo, Aki! Where you been?” Kou asked animatedly as he pushed against the door, shoving Akihito a little.

“Yeah, three days and no word, what happened, Aki?” Takato asked, noting his friend’s bewildered expression.

Akihito shrugged, rubbing at the back of his head while standing there in sweatpants and jacket. Odd.

“I had something very important to do. T-top secret.”

Takato frowned. “For three days?”

“Hey, where’s the pocky?” Kou shouted from the kitchen, obviously rummaging around in the fridge. Takato barely spared him an eye roll.

Akihito, Takato noticed, seemed to be weighing his answer in his head before blurting, “I didn’t get the chance to shop as yet.”

Takato was suspicious. He didn’t know Akihito to be so nervous and jumpy, and he’s known him for years. Akihito barely looked at him before walking over to the small sofa in his apartment and fluffling the cushions...which just came off as something to do with his idle hands.

“So, jacket indoors?” Takato asked lightly.

“What?” Akihito asked confused, turning to stare at him questioningly.

Takato pointed at his attire. “Why are you dressed like that?”

Akihito tugged at the sleeve where his wrists were before shrugging. “No reason, just feel like it. Have a seat.”

“Thanks.” Takato sat and took in the apartment as Akihito headed towards the kitchen, more than likely to see what Kou was up to. Now, he knew Akihito was rarely home to clean properly and stuff, but the pristineness of the area struck him as weird. Didn’t Akihito _just_ come back after three days to wherever? Another friend spotted him entering his apartment and called them. He smiled when Kou came back with a cup of juice in each hands. The three of them sat in awkward silence, which was another weird thing. Their comfortable camaraderie flew the nest all of a sudden.

“So...” Takato started, eyeing his blond friend after a sip of his drink. “Tell us what kind of holes you had to crawl into this time and how you got out.”

Kou grinned. “Yeah, Aki. Was it like the drain pipe with fifty snakes in it? Or the dark alley where you fought off five gangsters by yourself?”

Takato snickered at that last one. Their friend was such a joker sometimes. Except, Akihito laughed hesitantly, avoided their gazes, shrugged and then remained silent.

Takato exchanged a look with Kou. This seemed more serious all of a sudden. He decided to reiterate his question. “Where were you, Akihito?”

“Bet you’re gonna say in some dungeon somewhere with whips and chains and a beautiful girls that needed saving, huh?” Kou snorted, waggling his eyebrows.

Takato’s alarm rose when Akihito visibly flinched when Kou mentioned whips and chains, his eyes moving about frantically while his fingers tightened around his own leg. He looked like he was about to suffer a panic attack, tension tightening his muscles.

“Or maybe...”

“Kou, stop.” Takato had cut in. “Aki’s sick, look at him.”

Kou did look and his eyes widened in realization. “Aki, what’s wrong?”

Akihito shook his head. “Nothing, I just need to lie down.”

Takato stood, trying to touch his friend on his shoulder, then noticing how Akihito side stepped him expertly, walking around the couch so the piece of furniture was between him and them.

“I, um... look, I’m really tired and out of it after everything that’s happened. Can you guys come back another time? I really need to rest and get myself together. You know?”

Takato knew an avoidance tactic when he saw one, but he didn’t want to push his friend. Whatever Akihito had gotten into, it had scared him and it seemed like he needed time. “Ok, fine. We’ll come back tomorrow, how does that sound?”

Akihito nodded readily. “Good. But, call first?”

Takato frowned. Normally they just showed up at Akihito’s place whenever they felt like it. They were always welcomed no matter what. He suddenly felt really helpless. “Sure.”

“Aki...?” Kou asked confused, finally picking up on the changes in their friend.

Takato cut Kou off with a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head in the negative when Kou looked at him. “Let’s go.”

They waved to Akihito before leaving. Takato would swear his heart palpitated when he heard the lock on the door audibly clicking into place.

“Takato, what just happened?” Kou asked.

Takato drew in a breath, took one last look at the door before turning to Kou. “No idea. Let’s give him time to rest at least, then we can try to find out what’s going on.”

“Ok.” Kou’s concern was obvious and Takato knew his own face mirrored his friend’s as they walked out of the apartment building.

...............

“Hey, Kou...?” Takato greeted after calling his friend. “I haven’t heard from him, how about you?...Wanna try going over there again?...Fine, meet me in half an hour. Ok, bye.”

The two friends made their way towards their friend’s apartment, and while it wasn’t strange to see people leaving Akihito’s floor, Takato wondered what an obviously rich man in a tailor made suit and shiny leather shoes would be doing at the apartment. It’s so rare to see people of that stature about the place.

“I couldn’t get him all day yesterday,” Kou said worriedly. 

“Me neither,” Takato supplied. At one point Akihito’s phone was turned off. “We’ve given him enough time, he should be rested enough now.”

Kou nodded. “Yeah.”

Takato frowned when he walked up to Akihito’s front door, realizing it was slightly ajar. “Aki?” He called hesitantly when he pushed it open and stepped inside the apartment. There was no answer.

“Yo, Aki!” Kou shouted.

That’s when they both heard retching sounds from the bathroom.

“Hey, you ok?” Kou asked softly, kneeling beside Akihito, who was hunched over the toilet, puking his guts out. Kou started patting Akihito’s back, but the blond pulled away violently, heaving and revealing swollen red eyes and stuffy nose.

“D-don’t touch me.” Akihito’s voice trembled while he watched them both, eyes pleading while he wiped sick from his mouth with the back of one hand. Takato’s worry ratched up a notch and he raised his hands in surrender, watching Kou do the same.

“Ok, ok. We won’t touch, ok Aki?” Takato tried to placate his friend. What was causing this type of reaction in Akihito? He had no idea. “How you feeling?”

Right before their eyes Akihito drew in a deep breath and seemed to pull himself together, wiping his eyes and nose with the sleeve of his long sleeve shirt; calming his shaky breathing. “I’m fine, really. Just a bug, you know?”

Kou offered Akihito a hand to stand, with he took it after so much hesitation Takato knew there was more brewing beneath the surface of whatever Akihito was going through.

“Just, let me wash up and I’ll be out, ok?”

Takato nodded before he and Kou stepped out of the bathroom, exchanging a worried look. When Akihito emerged, he was fresh faced and generally more presentable. Except, the bags forming under his eyes.

“So, we were calling you all day yesterday, didn’t get a response,” Takato started with after Akihito brought them drinks. Akihito set them down, looked at them and then shrugged noncommittally.

“My battery was dead.”

Kou frowned. Akihito never allowed his phone to go dead for so long before, especially since he had to get called in for jobs.

Kou and Takato exchanged a look while Akihito kept his eyes firmly on his juice glass.

“So, what kind of bug has you puking? Do you need to see a doctor?”

Akihito flew up out of his seat so fast Takato almost dropped the glass halfway to his lips, noticing Kou’s startled jump from the corner of his eyes.

“No, no doctor,” Akihito supplied frantically. “I ah...I took something, I’ll feel better in a moment.”

Kou stood, wanting to reach out but not wanting Akihito to shy away from his touch like in the bathroom. “Hey, ok. No doctor, Akihito. You sure you’re alright though?”

Akihito nodded frantically, blond bangs flying in front his face. “I’m good guys,” he muttered while rubbing one wrist almost absentmindedly through the long sleeve of his shirt.

Takato wondered if he realized he was doing it. “Something the matter with your wrists?”

Akihito’s look was sharp before he hid his hands behind his back. “Get out.”

“What?” Kou startled.

“I don’t want either of you here, come back tomorrow.”

Takato wasn’t willing to give in just yet. “Whatever is happening with you, I can help.”

Akihito snorted derisively. “No, you can’t.”

“How do you know?” Takato challenged.

“I just do, ok?” Akihito snarled. “Now, I’m not well, as you guys can see, so go home so I can rest.”

The last part was said with a hint of resignation and Takato looked at Kou before they decided to give in. Akihito was firmly kicking him out of his apartment, which was his right after all. “Fine.”

“Keep your phone on this time, ok?” Kou pleaded.

Akihito nodded before shutting the door behind them. Two locks slid into place this time.

..........

Two days later, after no contact from Akihito, Takato couldn’t get his mind off his friend. He felt incredibly guilty for not even trying to get in contact with him all that time, because he was spending a lot of time with his new girlfriend, who was a really awesome woman.

Elizabeth made him happy and in his bliss, he’d put Akihito’s turmoil on the back burner for the time being. But now he had his mind on his tormented friend once again and now, he was definitely going over there alone to check up on his friend. Kou was doing an errand for his mother out of town.

This time, there was a limousine parked in front of the apartment. It reminded him of when he saw the man in the expensive business suit a few days ago. He wondered if Akihito’s apartment in the middle of downtown Tokyo was suddenly a hot spot for influential people. When he reached Akihito’s floor, he caught sight of the back of another man in expensive business attire turning the corner on the opposite end of the hall. He didn’t pay it any particular mind before walking up to Akihito’s door.

“Hey, Aki!” he shouted while knocking. There was no answer.

Maybe Akihito wasn’t home, or maybe he was asleep, or maybe Takato should follow his gut instinct and try to get inside. What would it hurt? Surprisingly, the knob turned easily and he slipped inside the darkened apartment, sunlight barely streaming in through cracks in the curtains. The apartment had an heavy feel to it, suffocating like.

“Akihito?” Takato whispered, not wanting to spook his friend in the event he was around and close by. He called again when he didn’t get an answer, voice rising an octave.

Just then, a small whimper, like a wounded animal, reached his ears from the direction of the bedroom and Takato padded over softly, dreading what he would find when he opened the door.

“Aki?”

More sniffling.

“Hey, it’s me,” Takato voiced softly to the blond lump under the covers on the bed in the dark. “You ok?”

“No,” Akihito answered weakly, voice gravelly like he just woke up or he was shouting or crying.

He was reaching for the bedside lamp when Akihito stopped him mid-reach. 

“No, don’t turn on the lights, Takato.”

“Why not?” Takato asked, noticing a strong smell of something he couldn’t quite place, like more than one scents mixed together.

“Get me some water, please?”

“Fine, I’ll be right back.”

When Takato returned Akihito had a window open so light streamed inside the bedroom. He was nowhere to be seen, but the sound of the shower in the bathroom attached to the bedroom could be heard. When Akihito re-emerged he was dressed in his now signature long sleeve with his hair wet and his eyes puffy and red. Another new norm. “Here.” 

Akihito took the glass of water, gulping it down greedily. “Thanks,” he muttered after.

Takato nodded. “Now, don’t tell me you’re fine, Akihito. Ever since you came back...”

Akihito heaved a tired sigh, cutting him off before sitting on the bed. “I know, ok? Things haven’t been exactly _normal_ since those three days.”

Takato sat across from him in a chair, eyeing his obviously struggling friend softly. “What happened?”

Akihito sighed again, like he was debating coming clean. Takato felt a little disheartened when Akihito answered, “I can’t tell you.”

“It’s weighing on you, Aki. Can’t you at least tell me a little? I doubt you’ve talked to anybody and look at you now? Whatever it is is eating you up inside.” His hand hovered a few inches from Akihito’s, sensing his friend’s need not to touch like a bitter taste on his tongue.

Akihito’s hazel eyes looked haunted and suppressive, searching for something he obviously wasn’t finding. “I’m sorry...”

Takato felt frustrated, and it must have shown in his face because Akihito suddenly averted his gaze.

“Hey, look. I understand, ok? Whatever it is, it’s a heavy burden and you don’t know what to do. But trust me Akihito, you’re too much of a friend for me to sit idly by and do nothing while you’re hurting. You’d do the same for me, you know.”

Akihito’s lips curled at the corner at that. “Yeah, I would, wouldn’t I?”

“Of course you would, so don’t expect any less from me, alright?”

Akihito nodded hesitantly. He seemed to be gathering his thoughts, then he started, “I can’t go into details, alright?”

Takato nodded.

“But some-something happened those three days and it’s making me re-evaluate everything I know about myself, you know?”

Takato nodded. If Akihito just wanted an ear to hear, he could be that.

“My head’s a screwed up, jumbled mess right now because of what happened. And to be honest, it scares me. I look in the mirror sometimes and wonder ‘who are you?’ You know? If I can feel how I feel about what happened, then I don’t know myself as well as I think I do.”

Akihito started picking idly at the hem of his sleeve and Takato wished he could hug him and tell him everything would be alright like Akihito used to do for him. “I’m sorry this is happening to you. Whatever it is, isn’t there any way you can help yourself better?”

Akihito shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Wow, I don’t know what to say. You’ve always been the strong one, you know?”

Akihito laughed. It sounded pained and humorous at the same time. “There’s never been anything strong about me.”

Takato’s chest twisted at that. “Hey, don’t do that, please. Don’t bring yourself down, Aki. Whatever it is, you’re stronger for sitting here right now and trying to get past it. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Akihito was trying to accept it, Takato could tell.

“Thanks.” Akihito’s smile was tentative.

Again, Takato wished he could touch, a reinforcement of strength.

“Anyway, this thing happens, and all I keep thinking is no, just _no_ , but by the end I’m left wondering what no really means...”

_”Through everything that was happening, I was wondering why he wouldn’t stop. What does no really mean, Takato?”_

Something horrific dawned on Takato at that admission. Holy hell! Someone else said almost the same exact thing to him a few years ago. An old classmate. She was ra.... He _did not_ want to go there. He could feel the breath leaving his lungs at the implication.

“...And then it keeps happening and I can’t bring myself to mean no when I say it...”

The color drained from Takato’s face and he hid the hand that started to shake.

“...no matter how much I say it...”

Takato doesn’t think he could breath.

“...until I don’t mean it.”

“Stop!” Takato shouted, lungs struggling for air as he stood and walked over to the window, brain trying to process the situation. 

“Hey, I know you at least have an idea what I’m talking about from the look on your face,” Akihito said softly, so hesitantly like he was expecting recrimination.

“You don’t understand, Aki, you were...”

“Don’t say it,” Akihito butted in, voice tight with denial. “I’ll get you some water.”

Akihito walked away and Takato was left with his head still spinning. He tried his best to regulate his breathing while alone. He needed badly to help Akihito.

“Here, drink this.”

Takato gulped down the glass of water after Akihito handed it to him, then he watched as the blond sat back on his bed. His dry throat at least felt a little better, even if the rest of him was a maelstrom of feelings.

“So, you haven’t done anything about it?” Takato asked tentatively. Last thing he wanted to do was come across accusing, that’s what happened with Elizabeth back in High School and he never saw her again.

Akihito shook his head. “I’m trying to work through it, rebuild myself around it so hopefully I can move on.”

“Move on?” This time Takato’s tenor was accusatory. “What about the person that did this to you?”

“I’m trying, alright? I’ll get him, I know I will.”

“HIM?!” Takato didn’t know how he was still vertical with _this_ news. He was seriously hoping it was a woman. He was praying it was. It wouldn’t make knowledge of the act better, but somehow he felt it would be easier, in a way. A man and a woman, the natural order of things.

Akihito sighed tiredly and it did little to make him feel better.

“I’m dealing in my own way, ok?”

“How can you deal with something like this?” Takato really wanted to know, because he didn’t see how.

“You won’t get it, because you’re not in my shoes,” Akihito answered, which was so true. But could Takato trust Akihito’s words that he would deal with it? Could he trust himself to live with it?

“I will. I’m strong, remember?”

Akihito smiled and it seemed infectious. Takato smiled too. He wanted so badly to believe in his friend. “Sure?”

“Positive.” Akihito was the one to reach out this time, but he pulled his hand back right before they were to touch.

“You’ll come to me when you need help?”

Akihito nodded.

“I have a cousin in law enforcement, sure you don’t want me to call her?”

“No.”

“You don’t understand why or how. You can’t see how someone could do something like that to you, do you?”

Hazel eyes widened in surprise before Akihito nodded. “How do you...?”

“I...aah, I knew someone...before...” Takato answered, not wanting to go into details. Akihito knew Elizabeth, but they weren’t close back in school.

“Oh, ok. I guess this isn’t so new to you...then...”

“Doesn’t make it any easier,” Takato supplied. It will never be easy.

Akihito nodded, seemingly a little more relieved.

“So, anything else you want to say? I’ll just listen and try to be supportive.” Takato remembered that much from what he read about the subject while in school; these people needed support more than anything else.

“I’ll be fine eventually. Promise,” Akihito answered resolutely.

“Please do,” Takato pleaded. The last thing he wanted was to lose another friend.

A more comfortable silence settled over them for a few minutes, until Akihito blurted, “Let’s play grand Theft Auto! I bought it on the Playstation last week.” 

Takato laughed while they moved towards the living room. There was a spark of the old Akihito coming back already.

While they unwrapped the controller he thought with his help, Akihito will definitely recover, and hopefully his molester will be punished. 

He had to believe he could do something. Anything. For Akihito.


End file.
